Allah Yang mengetahui segalanya. Semua akan mendapatkan pelajarannya sendiri. Saya yakin segala perbuatan trhdp saya dgn niat yang tdk baik dan ketidaktulusan akan mendapatkan pelajaran yang sesuai. Allah never fails.
Seems that I get most effective in writing either if I was intellectually critical or challenged or when I become mellow.
My little mellow heart. A feature I inherited from my rather undaring and yet curious-within-boundaries teenage soul. Why is it that if one gets older, one has to leave or try to ignore it? One reason is I guess that you find less and less acceptance from other people that want to learn about what you go through. The older we get, the more our capacity to listen to others problems vanished and gets replaced by the amount of own sources of mellowness in their lives. I don’t deny that this happens to me too. But somehow, outlets still need to be there at times. And as I learn, even pouring out becomes opportunistic. As the time and world moves on you find yourself seeking for peace and enlightment with different people at different times. Now, it could be anyone you have the right moment to talk with. Isn’t that interesting? It farthers from the learned concept of having the same best friends that you always had in school n stuff. But that’s somehow signalising the socialising model of the age. Relations are, pretty much transitory and on the other side without much burden on both sides. You may lose contact, but after ages you meet again, you may resume the relation at a similar intensity as if nothing happened. What further defines it is the intention and interest of why and how you maintain the relation.
I am curious of how it develops in the upcoming 10-20 years… Keep staying as liquid as water, adjusting yourself to flow through whatever shape..
There is a struggle in me in knowing conciously that I need to perceive rational reality rather then getting mixed up with subjective and emotionally-provoked thoughts, perceptions and assumption. Accepting what lays in front of the eye and keeping your mind from interpreting anything else beyond an action or attitude is hard. The latter is really hard. How can one stop oneself from relating thoughts with intuitively perceived contexts? What do you have in hand if all you feel is just warm air? I’m blindfolded and out on a search for something familiar, something to hold on. Blind and thirsty, walking forward and not knowing when I will reach the oasis and the comfort of home. So I try to shut down my thoughts and overplay them with good memories and the present’s entertaining and fulfilling moments..
I pamper myself with a lot of hope, hopes as high as a skytower, or even as high as a mountain. With full awareness that if it wasn’t to be fulfilling the hope I might fall into a hole, not knowing how deep it might be. But that’s alright, I take the stakes, for you will not to the safe harbour if you don’t take risks.
For now, I sail my boat in the mid of the sea, going where the wind takes me, but always towards the sun – that shows me the way home.
This morning I opened by FB and found another interesting question to think about. I decided to answer through my posting here.
The posting was made by Hanum Salsabiela Rais (@hanumrais)through her tweet:
“Hanum Salsabiela Rs wrote: Do you think the US actions after 9/11 make the world a safer place? Share your thoughts:)”
That’s a good question. But what started with absolute hatred towards religious groups through extreme shock and victimizing in US had to go through a revolution of the understanding of people. It would take more than one presidential term to generate genuine understanding in the minds of people, and diminishing racism. Military actions were a help in some ways.. What we all learn from all this is to build a better sense of awareness towards things and cultures around us, and urging us to understand thoroughly before judging others. Intellectually, us, the people moved towards a more positive state. Fear or paranoia can only be treated by giving understanding. And, as I learn, also Indonesia is taking a great role in educating the western society about the moderate Islam, as a part of public diplomacy.
What do you think? Feel free to share your opinion or point of view
Life ain’t easy at times. Yes, i just got this recalled again.
The events and stories that i perceived within the last days were enough to make one hit an emotional boiling point. And by emotional boiling point, i do not necessarily mean it to be only sadness, only anger or anything like it. For me, this boiling point becomes so odd as it puts all emotions you can feel together in one day.
I deeply felt sympathy as one Indonesian politician passed away just a day ago, knowing that he was one of the people who many people seemed to have looked up to our held on to. Also to the family, that was just starting. I deeply felt sorry for them. Who would know when one’s time would come. Theories over theories might have been talked about on the media, but about death or the most unbelievable chance of life, nobody can really predict. A question had been posed by Twitter friends.. “Will I be ready if God were to take me today?”
… i believe, we all would need to think about it quite a while to find an answer to this and maybe after a time still be speechless for answering it. I personally felt quite hit by that line, as i wasn’t sure for that myself. Sure, if you are not of a certain age, you wouldn’t achieve as much and be able to prepare as much so that what you started can be taken up by others or commemorated in a valuable way, or make others more ready in seeing the possibilities that the certain life-end may come their way. The actual question is: “Was life well -spent until now?”
There are times you are put on hold for moving towards a direction because you simply have to overgo a certain process first before you take the next step ahead. Patience is here the demand, as well as diligence and a constant consequent awareness of why we stay put for this moment – in order to achieve the next step. I believe I’m in such a condition at this moment. I believe that there are some transitory things that I need to learn, understand and undergo first, before i start something greater, because i believe, what i learn now, can only help me to become a solid rock once I take a step ahead. I believe this is the best way of making sure you are not naive; your burdens do not overtake your capacities. For me this all takes a great amount of patience. And yes, of course, ;) not only for me.
I am so eager to do something new now. Yet i know it’s just not the time yet. The impatience is just showing first signs of surfacing… just like a water kettle about to boil and sound.. i’m just afraid that if i got hooked up with the routine, i forgot to take the opportunities for the next thing towards the goal(s).
Opportunities… yes, that is also a word became one of the “words of the weekend”. Today’s life is very opportunistic oriented because the chance for equal opportunity for everyone, may it be on the job market, on the academic ladder, in career and life becomes bigger. Opportunities however should not blind us to stick to profound principles. I felt disappointment hearing that a friend didn’t seem to be able to recognize that values sometimes are still to be upheld, rather than opportunities. But it’s a choice for everyone, either you become ice-cold with your decision, respecting nothing else around you, or you do it professionally, choosing to meet a path that may suit best for resolution of matters, or you just sit still. The latter of course, could only do harm to yourself. There is where you need to have the courage to stay professional. Taking opportunities yes. But i believe, as adult one should have become smart enough to recognize, how unwise one can be if we run away from a responsibility.
Uncertainty. Life is uncertain, and that makes one feel sadness, anger or disappointment, as parts of hope begin to shade. You will not know what life holds for you, yet you are the one in charge of it. Best thing is that you plan ahead wisely, act as needed, but try the best in everytime you work towards something. Whatever is the outcome of your work is not always apparent, yet, if it was a failure, it was still valuable to have learned the lesson of what you should avoid or do better the next time you try. Uncertainty definitely brings along that you have to wait to receive an answer, for an application process, for a decision, for a further step in your daily work. If nothing is defined, i guess it is still best to turn to one’s self again and start to build a inner point of certainty deriving from…
Faith. This again, is another very abstract word with lots of beautiful meanings that can be laid out. Faith is one great gift that was given to us by God. When we feel small, when we feel things start to crumble, when we are in the dark, alone, or when we sit in front of a massive stack of paper, documents to work on, then it is us and our incredible faith that can lift us up and make us sit or stand up straight again. When in doubt, call God. You will receive the faith that is a blessing to face your day. No matter how ugly, plundering, disgusting, disgraceful, crushing your day might be, you will still see the light at the end of the road leading hmm.. let’s say towards the gates of a City of Lights, opening up more chances for you to make your life worthwhile and wholesome again.
I have to admit there is a lot that is still missing in my everyday, to maximize the quality of life in some way. Today, i start the reflection on what i should introduce or maintain in order to stay fit, physically and mentally balanced and fun
1. Go swimming every weekend. – I feel like cripple by now with all activities going on
2. Go to the movies more often. – I really gotta catch up on my literacy of movies soon.
3. Fill the saturday nights with some more getting around. – Sometime it’s just stop for being much at home.
4. Fill the sunday with relaxing and fun activities only as much as there is time for it.
5. Have a massage and totok wajah at a regular time. – Hmm… make the stress of the week go float away.
6. Do more singing. – It definitely frees and unleashes one’s soul.
7. Do a better scheduling of the day/week to get a better overview of all assignments to do. – Now – Chaos!
8. Take some multivitamine supplement that really helps.
9. Drink Milk before going to bed every day. At least for me it works.
10. Share some more L.O.V.E.
11. Find a new thing to learn and thrive in. – Shall it be language, photography, writing, fashion, singing, .. ?
12. Target to read one book per month. – Ain’t bad for a relaunch, ya.. ?
13. Do more short-trip vacations with friends.. or even alone.. ?
14. Write a blog entry every week to make sure my writings wouldn’t go gaga.
15. One new meal a week.
16. Start up with small saving. – Maybe with frozen accounts (forced saving so to say)
17. Re-innovate my style every 2 months.
- i start running out of ideas-
18. Drive more regularly!
19. Look for more opportunities of development here and abroad.
20. Treat myself accordingly if i did something well. – The point is in self-appreciation.
21. Maintain social activities every now and then with friends.
22. Review some of the material once learnt in courses/school/college/uni once in a while.. – one never knows what one can find
23. Really try to maintain good order with my things. ahahaha.. leave the chaos, embrace the order !
24. Planning for an annual event, like one long holiday or one social event that i could really look forward to.
25. And most importantly.. to keep the balance.. turn to Allah, as for all matters in life – in the most difficult time, it is the best way to be able to get along with all that happens around us.
This numbering does not reflect the order, nor priority of the mentioned statements. Rather more a reminder of all important things that should keep us alive in a reasonable way.